Externalised behaviours

One way of understanding self-regulation difficulties in this age group is to look at behaviour. This can be broken down to two broad types; external and internal behaviours.

Externalising behaviours are behaviours such as tantrums, screaming, crying, spitting, not following an adults directions or throwing themselves on the floor. These actions get noticed quickly as they can be disruptive to others. When this happens a child will need help from others to regain control of their feelings.

At 2 to 3 years a child is more likely to show physical aggression than at other ages and may hit others or throw toys. This will change as language develops and the child increases in their understanding of others’ feelings and wishes. By 4 to 5 years a child may show an increase in verbal aggression instead. It’s important to acknowledge that whilst many children show developmental aggression at some stage, some children do go on to exhibit more continuous unhealthy aggressive behaviour. Many theorists have debated the rationale behind this, and factors such as; genetic traits, being in aggressive and or abusive environments, aggressive peer groups, and a lack of understanding of others' intentions and social reasoning, may contribute.

Another change that can be seen in this age group is the move from instrumental to hostile aggression. Instrumental aggression refers to aggression that is a means to an end. For example, George pushed Jenny so that he could play with the scooter. Hostile aggression on the other hand aims to hurt another. This can be a subtle change and coincides with other developmental stages in this age group, such as moral development and the development of self.